Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

INFOSYSism

You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

LNTism

GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

SATYAMism

You have a cow. You have its milk. But don't know what to do with it!

DELLism

Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism

You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism

You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism

You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism

You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism

You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism

You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism

You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism

Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism

You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism

You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism

You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism

You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.


Source: The Economic Times