1. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes ?
2. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?". She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap ?
4. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong ?
5. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ?
6. Is there another word for synonym ?
7. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?"
8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ?
9. Would a fly without wings be called a walk ?
10. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ?
11. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains ?
12. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ?
13. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny ?
14. One nice thing about egotists - they don't talk about other people.
15. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
16. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
17. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
18. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
19. Women like silent men - they think they're listening.
20. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
21. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
22. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to ?
23. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting ?
24. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too ?
25. If you try to fail, but you succeed, then have you failed or succeeded ?