Mulla Nasruddin's letter to his wife

Mulla Nasruddin is an incomparable mythical figure - an idiot? a sage? - in the Sufi teaching stories tradition.

Here is a letter written by Mulla Nasruddin to his wife:


To my dear, ever-loving wife.

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times,
an average of once per day, and the following is a list of the reasons
you gave for rejecting me:

Wrong week, 11 times
It will wake the children, 7 times
It is too hot, 15 times
It is too cold, 3 times
Too tired, 19 times
Too late, 16 times
Too early, 9 times
Pretending to sleep, 33 times
The window is open, neighbours might hear, 3 times
Backache, 16 times
Toothache, 2 times
Headache, 6 times
Not in the mood, 31 times
Baby restless, might cry 18 times
Watched late show, 15 times
Mud-pack, 8 times
Grease on face, 4 times
Too drunk, 7 times
Forgot to visit the chemist's, 10 times
Visitors sleeping in the next room, 7 times
Just had hair done, 28 times
"Is that all you think about?", 62 times

Dearest, do you think we can improve on our record during the forthcoming year?

Your ever-loving husband

Mulla Nasruddin